Stage 6: Temporary Acceptance m7.jpg

At some point, the gloom recedes, and you realize that it's time to move forward. Although the crisis of unemployment is still with you every moment of every day, you have some breathing room. You can think about where you've been, where you are, and where you're going. This is the e-wave stage when you're functioning at the highest level, and you can create an action plan. Some healthy concepts that begin to sink in are:

  • The past is past.
  • It's time to move on.
  • Sitting here on the sofa isn't doing me any good.
  • I can't change anything by kicking myself in the butt.
  • Why dwell on what I can't change?
  • My job search is my responsibility, and I can make it happen.
  • What I do with my future is up to me.
In the temporary acceptance stage, you pick yourself up by the bootstraps, and get on with your life. You absolve yourself of blame for your unemployment and, at the same time, charge yourself with the responsibility for your career. But it is a temporary and fleeting stage, because with every rejection, rude rebuff, and insensitive response, you will find yourself "cycling through" the emotional wave.

Coping With Temporary Acceptance

If temporary acceptance were the final stop on the journey to re-employment recovery, there'd be nothing to cope with. It would be time to kick up your heels and celebrate. You'd be "over" the trauma of unemployment. But, as I've pointed out, the Emotional Wave™ is a cycle rather than a series of linear stages. You might accept your situation with equanimity one day, and sink back into depression the next. One minute, you might be full of optimism, and the next, you might imagine yourself living in a bus station.

You'll experience extreme mood swings as long as you're unemployed.

  • While you're riding the e-wave™, your feelings will be exaggerated.
  • The highs will be higher, and the lows will be lower.
  • Seemingly minor events - a rejection letter, a curt response to a phone call, or a holiday celebration - can catapult you from the plateau of temporary acceptance back through of shock and denial, fear and panic, anger, bargaining, or depression.

Use the sanctuary of temporary acceptance to prepare yourself for what lies ahead. Develop a plan for snatching victory from the jaws of grief, and for finding equanimity and dignity in every stage as you cycle through your Emotional-Wave. Most importantly, prepare yourself to face the working world again from the perspective of personal responsibility, forgiveness, and confidence.

©Copyright 2008 Professionals In Transition Support Group, Inc.

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